on the other side of the river

how nice

a student anonymously left me a very nice-looking banana on my desk.

What a good little present on an otherwise boring Tuesday

a downer

After reading this article, and sitting through our discussion of the correlation between state's NAEP scores and their rate of poverty, I am feeling very discouraged.

I would like nothing more than to get my kids to stop hitting each other and calling names, and to care more about school than they seem to care about sex, gangs, and acting out (which are constant topics of conversation when they don't know I can hear them). I try to make them see how important doing well in school is for their future, but it usually feels fruitless. After reading this, and recognizing so much of it in my students, much of what I do feels fruitless.

the rewards show up later

Once again, I was reminded of this in the last few days:

CH: "Hey, Ms. M! Those strategies you taught us have really been helping in college! I use them ALL the time."

Me: Speechless... "Really?"

CH: A confident nod - "Yep."

The day-to-day frustrations of this job have not disappeared in my second year, or even subsided all that much  -- Even though I work less, and my classroom management and organization are better, I am still annoyed, worried and stressed about the same things.

What has really made my second year easier has been the support and positive feedback from former students. The girls with their visitor passes pasted proudly to their chest, showing off their alumni status as they come running up to me in the hallway. The three soft-spoken young men who hang around awkwardly after school in my classroom to chat about their new lives and new schools and big plans. Even my former students who are still on campus --- who ask me if they "can stop in on your planning period for some ACT help?" or lean against my radiator and show off their report on Pride and Prejudice for their senior English class. Just knowing that these few want my approval, want to keep me in their lives (however briefly), and remember my class with (some) fondness, makes the day-to-day grind a thousand times more manageable... 

Even on the hardest days, I can take a moment, breathe, and think about these moments. 'I am doing something right, I am doing something right, I am doing something right...'

support my classroom!

Consider donating to my DonorsChoose project -- I'd like to read The Watson's Go to Birmingham in the spring with my Learning Strategies classes, but I need to get a hold of the books first. Any amount welcome! (Also, here is another wonderful Delta classroom project!)

One of the saddest elements of our public education system is the HUGE amount of money teachers spend out of their own pockets for their students. I'll buy 60 dollars worth of paper and ink every month, plus about 30 dollars in student rewards (for good behavior), plus white board markers (3-4 dollars each!), overhead lightbulbs (3-5 bucks a month), pens, markers, and any number of other things I might need for certain activities (construction paper? dried spaghetti? eggs? straws? classroom set of scissors? (twice) yep. I have bought alll these things and more for my kids....)

EDIT: I am fully funded! Thanks to seven random people (and my dad!) Looks like I will eventually be blogging on our readings of TWGB!

required: my biggest area of improvement

Pretty much every aspect of my teaching has improved tremendously from last year to this year -- my rapport with students, my lesson planning abilities, my organization, attitude, classroom management, assessments, assignments....

I think the most important area of improvement, for me, is my ability to keep my LIFE separate from my teaching life. If a student makes a comment about how my class "is boring", I reprimand them and move on -- last year a comment like that would have haunted my thoughts until I fell asleep that night, and then chased me around the next day as I endeavored to "win back" the student. Last year I spent my evenings working on schoolwork, or procrastinating my school work. This year I come home after school, take an hour for myself, and then finish all work by 7, or earlier. When I am not at school, or working on schoolwork, I don't think about school. At all.

Last year my life was teaching. Period. I let all the work, all the emotions, all the frustrations consume me - all the time. This year, my job is teaching, and if something goes wrong (or I am not perfect every day) I don't let it get to me. I am calmer, happier, and I don't dread going to work every morning. I may not love my job (yet) but at least I don't hate my life.....

fun in class

Either I have become a very good actress, or I just imagine teaching to be worse than it is when I am not in the classroom...

"The teacher has fun when she is give the notes and things to you. I like that the teacher has fun with you when everyone talkin or doing something about the lesson."

My student approval rating (gauged by looks, side comments, overhead hallway conversations, evaluations, journal entries, etc) is about 10 times what it was last fall right now, which is certainly making my life MUCH easier. Hang in there first-years, they will come around!

they've got a long way to go

Every child in Mississippi needs to pass 4 tests in high school - English II, Algebra I, U.S. History and Biology I. These tests are difficult, and the English test is VERY difficult. In order to pass and earn a "basic score", students need to answer about 45-50% correctly.

As a start to my English I class, I decided to use a portion of the state test as a pre-test. I picked out questions which covered most of the objectives, and gave them a test that was about 1/3 the size of the actual state-test. They complained, took the test, and then I immediately ran the answer sheets through the scantron machine.

5 kids out of 49 made above a 40%. Many, many of them must have guessed on everything - they had well below 20%. Yikes. Ideally, I'd like to post-test using a similar test, but now I am not quite as confident that I will be able to improve these things. We'll see....

required: this year compared to last year

Last year I was a basketcase on my first day. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. I was sweating like crazy, nerves totally shot, my feet were aching and I was moving a mile a minute. I couldn't think clearly about anything -- I was simply plowing through my meticulously organized list of things to cover in class that day. At the end of the day, I felt like I had just survived an armageddon. I could barely collect myself and ignore my pounding feet enough to make it home, and crash onto my couch, sick and tired.

This year was worlds different. I was surprised to find that I was actually a bit nervous in the morning as I waited for students to arrive. But once I was up in front of the class, it was a breeze. I rolled through my rules and consequences like a pro all day -- and the schedule was perfectly normal (15 minutes got cut out of first period, but that's all!) 

I think the biggest difference, for me, was the students in my room. I love freshmen. Seniors think that they they are "grown". They kick up rules and consequences in your face and take structures like these as if you are disrespecting THEM.  I got backlash on day ONE, and it didn't stop there.

The freshmen don't know any better - they are new, and this is their first experience with high school. They are going with it, for now. I expect some issues to come up, but at least we have a good foundation.

The other big thing is my anxiety level - I am way more at ease. I don't mind if my lesson isn't perfectly planned the first three days of school, because I know I've got some activities in my classroom (and the back of my mind) that I can pull out if need be. I am not worried about what the kids think about me at every moment - because I don't care. I don't worry that my units aren't good enough, or that I won't have time to finish everything, because I know they aren't, and I know I won't. I don't mean to have low expectations for myself (or the kids) but I just know that I can't get myself worked up about things that are beyond my capabilities. I am doing the best job I can, and I am satisfied with it.

So, year two: good things.

begin again

The two-month hiatus finally over, I am heading back into the classroom and onto the blog....

I am teaching English I (freshmen) all classes, all day this fall. I am slightly nervous about teaching younger students -- for a number of reasons. Younger students don't know me; they will see what my students saw in August of last year - a young, white, non-Mississippian. It would have been nice to get kids who recognized me, who knew my "reputation".

Also, the middle schools were chaos last year. Many of the incoming 9th graders are used to an atmosphere with few consequences, and a lack of authority. They were CRAZY when they came to tour the high school. They didn't listen to their teachers at all. Add that to the fact that the "bad" kids have not yet dropped out, and the 9th grade could be a recipe for disaster. Everyone says that this year's freshmen are the "worst class to come out of {middle school #1} and {middle school #2} in their history".

But, I am fantastically excited about having only one prep - I will only write a single 100 minute lesson each day, and then teach it 3 times. Not bad. My classroom looks better, cleaner, more organized, and more fun. Colder teachers, custodians and secretaries have suddenly come around now that I am back for year two, and they seem warm, if not outright friendly. I have 2 weeks of solid lessons planned, and a detailed plan of daily topics for 1st quarter and 4th quarter (when I know I'll start burning out!). I've started writing my 1st quarter exam.

Against all odds, I am actually excited for the students to arrive tomorrow. I had imagined that my return to Mississippi would be grudgingly executed, that I would be dreading work and hating myself for returning. But, surprisingly enough, none of this (so far) is true. And I'm hoping it stays that way! As my students would say, "b'lee 'dat!" Here's to a good start of the year.....

required: advice for the first-years

I feel a bit repetitive writing this blog, because I gave a lot of advice this summer about the first few weeks of school. There were three things that kept coming up -- things that I learned after they had mentally, emotionally, and even physically torn me apart in the fall. So for those of you who haven't already heard my lessons, here goes....

Make sure you have at least a week, and hopefully 2-3 weeks, planned before school starts. My first day of school, I lost my planning period, and so I couldn't go get my lunch in the teacher's lounge, and as a result, got sick to my stomach. Instead of eating when I went home, I sickly crashed onto the couch and fell asleep until 8:00pm. This began a cycle of horrible sickness, sleeping everyday from 4:30-8:00pm, sleepless nights, not being able to keep food down, fatigue, anxiety, and general chaos for the first two weeks of school. I didn't plan a single lesson for a week because I was so ill -- and I wouldn't have made it if I hadn't had those lessons already prepared. You never know what might happen, or what your mindset might be. (This could very well lead to advice #2 - make sure you EAT.)

Punish disrespect. Right away. If a student says quietly under their breath "I hate this class", don't let it slide. Don't laugh and move on. Punish them. Give them paragraphs, give them a detention, take away their bathroom pass. DO SOMETHING. Because if you don't, you send a clear signal to the class that they can say anything about you or your class without being punished. That under-the-breath saying will turn into a loud voice and then into a chorus of voices that tell you "We hate your class, why don't you go back where you came from. This boring. I hate this. I hate you." It will foster an environment of negativity, and it will drag you down. You need to START firm. If you do punish them, they somehow end up loving you instead. I had the good fortune of having semester-long classes last year - in the spring, I discovered where I had gone wrong in the fall....

Take a short break from teaching-related things each day. Even if it is only a 20 minute break, do something for yourself. You'll hear this from everyone, and some of you, like me, will ignore it. You will think you have too much to do, that if you take a 20 minute break you won't get it all done, and then you will never be able to catch up and get ahead. You are right. But you will never catch up and you will never get ahead -- There is always more to do. If you don't make time for yourself you will go crazy. I didn't, and it was no fun. I came about half a step from quitting because I couldn't let go of my type-A-ness.  The moment I let go, just a little, I realized I had been crazy to want to leave.  So keep a book next to your bed, keep the bicycle chain greased, find your local coffee shop, open up that cookbook, buy yourself a gym membership, whatever -- you will be 10 times the teacher once you have something OTHER than teaching in your life.

And, finally, one last bit of advice using my new second-year perspective - ask for help and advice. We are all here for you (and there are teachers and principals at your schools that don't want you to stumble either!). Don't wait until its too late to ask for help. We were all in your position and we understand - use us! 

Good luck this week!!